Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Worry! Worry!! Worry!!!

I have developed what I would consider to be one of my worst character traits throughout this winter.  It was always there but I feel like it has completely consumed my life in the last 5 months.  WORRYING!!!!  When will it end?!?!

If you've read my earlier blogs you know that sickness has been almost a constant at our house this winter.  Now I completely freak out and worry myself sick if my kids have in any way, shape, or form been around anyone who is sick - especially the stomach flu.  It is not their fault at all - I know we've probably spread it to plenty as much as we've had it.  I just let it consume my every thought of my day. I can't focus, eat, or even function.  I find myself planning meals that won't be "messy" if thrown up (no red sauces, etc.).  I lay sheets down beside the boys' beds to avoid a mess on the carpet.  I don't even want to go anywhere.  I lay in bed at night for hours and jump at every little sound that I hear coming out of their rooms.  See what I mean?!  I feel like a complete freak!!!

I try to remind myself that this is one of those things that is completely out of my hands.  I turn it over to God and tell myself that we'll deal with it if it happens.  But that lasts about 2 minutes.  I feel like I have no control and that makes me crazy. UGH!!!!!!!!

I'm hoping that my venting here and reading how crazy I appear to be will allow me to relax and actually get to sleep tonight.  Although I'm worried to let my guard down.   I don't wish my kids to grow up AT ALL but I'm thinking it would be a little easier on my worrisome soul if they could tell me it's coming or know what to do in the middle of the night.

I have never, ever been so ready for winter to be over and for all this sickness around us to be DONE!! Let's move on to summer - then I can worry about sunburn, bug bites, and drowning in the pool :)  HELP!!  I'm a crazy lady!! HA

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